A joke without porn, profanity, or pain...

[Brownsnoutuk]

Re: A joke without porn, profanity, or pain...

you know i was admiring that pic and he does look good with a mohawk

Admiring?

[eklikewhoa]

Re: A joke without porn, profanity, or pain...

You must not have read the other thread brown......we have established the fact that  junke likes men....or at least fantasizes about them.

[wvgdiscus]

Re: A joke without porn, profanity, or pain...

I want to do a mohawk to compliment my full beard but the wifey no likey.

Who is wearing the pants in this relationship?????    

[eklikewhoa]

Re: A joke without porn, profanity, or pain...

Its not about who wears them but about who takes them off.....I could careless about who wears them like you guys.....that's a worthless argument to me.

[mrairportjunke]

Re: A joke without porn, profanity, or pain...

aparently EK has something in common with me then.  He wears the PANTIES and his wifey has his jewels in her Pants pocket.  ahah

[Philbert]

Re: A joke without porn, profanity, or pain...

Wasn't there another thread where you guys discussed your homoerotic imagery?

[Philbert]

Re: A joke without porn, profanity, or pain...

The joke "What do you do when someone has a fit in the bath? Throw in your laundry" offends me greatly. I had a cousin who died that way.
He choked on a sock.

[Philbert]

Re: A joke without porn, profanity, or pain...

One day a HTA bus driver was in his bus when the biggest man he had ever seen got on. The giant looked at the driver and said: "Big John doesn't pay", and took his seat on the bus. The bus driver was only a little man and he didn't want to argue.
This happened for several days. After a week , the bus driver was beginning to get a little angry. Everybody else paid, so why not the big man? So the driver went to the gym and started a course of body-building. He didn't want to get frightened of Big John any more.

Three weeks later the driver had strong muscles and was feeling very fit.
At the usual stop, Big John got on. "Big John doesn't pay", he said. But this time the driver was prepared for him. He got up and said : "Oh, yeah? And why doesn't Big John pay?"
"Because Big John has got a bus pass" , the man replied.

[Philbert]

Re: A joke without porn, profanity, or pain...

David Beckham, when not playing football that day, decides to go horse riding.
Although he has no previous experience, he skillfully mounts the horse and appears in complete control as the horse gallops along at a steady pace.
Victoria watches him admiringly.
After a while, David becomes a little too casual and begins to lose his grip in the saddle. He panics and grabs the horse round it's neck and calls for it to stop.
Victoria screams and shouts for someone to help.
David slips completely out of the saddle and is only saved from hitting the ground because he is still clutching the horse's neck.
David decides his best chance is to leap away, but his foot becomes entangled in the stirrup!
David's head is now banging along the ground and he is slipping into unconsciousness. Victoria is frantic and screaming!

Hearing her screams, one of the Supermarket Security Guards comes out of the store and unplugs the horse.

[Philbert]

Re: A joke without porn, profanity, or pain...

A 80 year old man was sitting on a park bench sobbing, when a young man walks by and asks him what's wrong.
Through the old man's tears he answers, "I've fallen in love with a beautiful 25 year old woman."
"What's wrong with that?" asks the young man.
Between the sobs he answers, "You can't possibly understand. Every morning before she goes to work we make love. At lunchtime, she comes home and we make love again, and then she makes my favourite meal. Then after supper, we make love once more."
The old man breaks down, and is no longer able to speak.
The young man puts his arm round him. "It sounds like you have a perfect relationship. Why are you crying?"
The old man answers through his tears, "I've forgotten where I live."

[Philbert]

Re: A joke without porn, profanity, or pain...

The room was full of pregnant women and their partners, and the Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, along with informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan.
The teacher then announced, "Ladies, exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!"
The room really got quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand. "Yes?" replied the teacher. "Is it alright if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"

[cantdoitkid]

Re: A joke without porn, profanity, or pain...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------



The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian
war party.


The Indian Chief proclaims, 'So, you are the great Lone
Ranger. In honor of the Harvest Festival, you will be executed
in three days. But, before I kill you, I will grant you three
requests


What is your first request?'
The Lone Ranger responds, 'I'd like to speak to my horse .'

The Chief nods and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger,
who whispers in Silver's ear and the horse gallops away.


Later that evening, Silver returns with a beautiful blonde
woman on his back.

As the Indian Chief watches, the blonde enters the Lone
Ranger's tent and spends the night.

The next morning the Indian Chief admits he's impressed

You have a very fine and loyal horse but I will still kill
you in two days. What is your second request?'

The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse. Silver is
brought to him, and he again whispers in the horse's ear.


As before, Silver takes off across the plains and disappears
over the horizon.

Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again
returns, this time with a brunette, even more attractive than
the blonde. She enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the
night.

The following morning the Indian Chief is again impressed.  



You are indeed a man of many talents but I still kill you
tomorrow. 'What is your last request?'

The Lone Ranger responds, 'I'd like to speak to my
horse....alone! .'

The Chief is curious but he agrees and Silver is brought to
the Lone Ranger's tent.

Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears,
looks him square in the eye and says,*



'Listen very carefully you dumb *** horse. For the last time
. . BRING_ POSSEEEE'_

[cantdoitkid]

Re: A joke without porn, profanity, or pain...

Hillary Clinton, the lead Presidential Democratic Party candidate, is for banning all guns in America . She is considered by those who have dealt with her, as a little more than just a little self-righteous.

At a recent rural elementary school meeting in north Florida , she asked the audience for total quiet. Then, in the silence, she started to slowly clap her hands, once every few seconds, holding the audience in total silence.  Then she said into the microphone, 'Every time I clap my hands, a child in America dies from gun violence.'

A young voice, with a proud southern accent, (probably Johnny), pierced the quiet...

'Well, stop clappin, ya stupid *****!

[mrairportjunke]

Re: A joke without porn, profanity, or pain...

haha.  nice.

[cantdoitkid]

Re: A joke without porn, profanity, or pain...

8)  I know.