We've all been there. Someone in your family is terminal & you're just waiting for that phone call. I've been in this seat since July & just needed to get it off my chest where my mother can't see it. She's helping take care of the one dying, her sister. She's writing her sister's obituary while she's in the same house with her, in the other room, dying.
It seems morbid to say outloud, but I wish she would just go. She's my aunt & I love her dearly, but this suffering has gone on for years now & it's not going to get better. It hurts my heart, as I'm sure it does everyone's, that this vibrant, motormouth, funny, caring lady is just lying there at home in a hospital bed, lifeless.
My 86 year old grandmother has already buried her only son, who drank himself to death at 47 & now she's preparing to bury her middle daughter. My 90 year old grandfather isn't in very good shape at all & doesn't really understand what's going on due to his massive strokes. They're all afraid that when she goes, he will follow close behind. My little cousin, a preacher, is helping care for his mother as well & he's HIV positive. He, my mother & grandmother watch her in shifts. She has to have 24 hour care. Hospice comes weekly, but they can't do much for her.
They didn't think she'd make it through last night but she did. She can't speak, eat normally or through her tube, she's almost completely paralyzed, she hasn't woken up for almost 3 days now & she only weighs 80 pounds. She's suffering, she has no quality of life & we all agree it will be best for her to go quickly. Today they started telling her it was ok for her to go. My heart hurts for my family. They've gone to such lengths to take care of her & not put her in a home.
I have a feeling that sometime this week we will be making a trip to the valley, but I've had the same feeling since July.
I just needed to get this out. Thanks for letting me ramble.
It seems morbid to say outloud, but I wish she would just go. She's my aunt & I love her dearly, but this suffering has gone on for years now & it's not going to get better. It hurts my heart, as I'm sure it does everyone's, that this vibrant, motormouth, funny, caring lady is just lying there at home in a hospital bed, lifeless.
My 86 year old grandmother has already buried her only son, who drank himself to death at 47 & now she's preparing to bury her middle daughter. My 90 year old grandfather isn't in very good shape at all & doesn't really understand what's going on due to his massive strokes. They're all afraid that when she goes, he will follow close behind. My little cousin, a preacher, is helping care for his mother as well & he's HIV positive. He, my mother & grandmother watch her in shifts. She has to have 24 hour care. Hospice comes weekly, but they can't do much for her.
They didn't think she'd make it through last night but she did. She can't speak, eat normally or through her tube, she's almost completely paralyzed, she hasn't woken up for almost 3 days now & she only weighs 80 pounds. She's suffering, she has no quality of life & we all agree it will be best for her to go quickly. Today they started telling her it was ok for her to go. My heart hurts for my family. They've gone to such lengths to take care of her & not put her in a home.
I have a feeling that sometime this week we will be making a trip to the valley, but I've had the same feeling since July.
I just needed to get this out. Thanks for letting me ramble.
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