You're talking to a person.

[Ellen]

Sometimes I think that people forget that they're talking to another person when they post on the internet. You see a screen, but you are talking to a person just like yourself who obviously shares at least one of your hobbies. I have recently noticed that sometimes people are rude on forums, and I don't think that they would say the things that they post if they were looking at a face instead of a screen. Its ok to have differing opinions, if everybody did everything the same way, nobody would be able to progress. Try to state your opinion nicely. If you know alot, then great, but don't forget that you didn't always know alot. People ask questions because they want to know. Usually people are looking for some first-hand experience, especially with a local board like this, so try to add more than just links. If you add links, a description of where they go is really nice. If you have experience, let them in on it, but don't just point out their ignorance. They know they need help, if they didn't they wouldn't be seeking it.

Ellen

[Obed]

Re: You're talking to a person.

Ellen, one other common problem I have seen is that some folks forget that there is often more than one way to do the same thing. I have been in this hobby for 50 years and I have seen people post advice that I would never do, but they are posting what has worked for them and it is hard to argue with what is working. some times we forget that other people have different water conditions and what works for us might not work for them, so it might be a good idea to be a little less firm in our self appointed guru status.

[PhishPhreek]

Re: You're talking to a person.

Well, one of the big misunderstandings is that you cannot see someone's expressions & manerisims when you read their message.

I grew up with that dry english humor and if you're not careful, I'll feed you a line of BS in a perfectly normal conversation.   And if you can't see the slight smirk or the twinkle in my eye........ you may not be aware that I'm pulling your leg.

I try my best not to say things that can be taken the wrong way.  But sometimes I forget and revert to sarcasem.

I'm sure we can all communicate more clearly if we try.

[guppymax]

Re: You're talking to a person.

I inherited a big ego. I just have not developed communication skills yet. I work real hard at being as good as I am. I am 54 years old and just not making any progress. Phish Phreek can vouch for me that I am just like this in real life too. You all are welcome to PM me with some tips on better communication skills. I will ask Ken Will for more mailbox space lol.

max

[daisymac]

Re: You're talking to a person.

Good point Ellen!

I haven't been around here all that long, and most of the replies I have gotten are very polite. Sometime I don't actually understand them because I am not as well read in this hobby as others are, but that only makes me look around for more information until I eventually get it, or at least the gist of it!

If I do get a lousy response . . . well so what? I don't have to take it to heart. At that point i am glad that I am not face to face. If I was I may not be as nonchalant as I can be reading words.  

And Obed has a real good point also. It is like getting advice about how to raise a child. Even the how to books differ in their opinions. What works for one is a disaster for another.

This is the first board I have been on that is local, and I think that is an important thing to remember. Not only are you "talking to a person", you also may run into that person at a LFS or some other event. Of course If I was talking trash I sure wouldn't reveal my nickname!  

In one certain post a person apologized to me in a pm, but not publicly, but it was still appreciated.

Oh - Phish - could you put a little winky emoticon next to the line where you are pulling our legs, please? LOL! And Max, if he doesn't then you step in and let us know!